A Tedious Delusion

I find it interesting that today is Blog Against Dis-ablism day, considering the interesting online blogging community chats I've had going on the past day or so. Those conversations flavor heavily what I'm about to type, and saturate intensely my own emotions and reactions to able-ism in urban environments.

I live in the greatest city on earth, Boston, the beantown of beans. I love my city - I love the abruptness, the rudeness, the anonymity, the collective shuddering at Yankee-ism, and the unreliable driving skills and street signs in almost all fractions of the jungle that we call the metro area. I love that I can hop on the Orange Line at Oak Grove Station and end up at Alewife on the Red Line in about 45 minutes total, when it's about a 15 minute drive by car. I love that almost all the Body Shop stores have patrol guard, and that the bus drivers won't put down the disability seats on Sundays.

Yes, I love this city. I love that I can tip-tap my way down most any street on any given day and find at least 3 people (count em, three) to grab my arm and kindly give me directions to whatever place they think I should go, and then proceed to take me there themself. Yep, this city is so darn friendly I don't even have to try to cross the street myself, there's always someone happy to carry, drag, direct, or shout my Most Viable Path (tm) in whatever fashion they see fit, even getting out of their cars at times to assist me!

With a city of such friendly, accomodating folks, you would wonder why the topic of ableism would even matter to me. Why would I have something to say about phobia and prejudice against the disabled, discrimination based on disability, and oppressive climates in which the disabled feel unwelcome or unwanted?

Few things really strike me. One, I don't ask for helpful help and I don't need it. But when I do ask and need help, I don't get it. Help comes on able-bodied terms, not mine. I'm reminded of a South Park episode in which a disabled teacher in an electric body-chair runs out of battery power in the middle of the street. Incapable of communicating, those around her ignorantly ask if she needs assistance, getting angry when she doesn't (hi, she can't) respond. When I deny someone's ignorance masked as chivalry, they get upset. They run away. They get all huffed. Some even tell me to ...... go somewhere hot and painfully below the service of the earth's proverbial crust. What is help if not helpful? Why help those who can help themselves? It never made sense to me, either, the old saying that G-d would help those who help themselves. If you can help yourself, why divine intervention? Seems a waste of resources if you ask me.

Then comes the combative identity politics between able-bodied Others and disabled Others. You can go to a meeting for X group but don't try to be disabled in the X group. That's just not gonna fly, and it's going to make everyone in the room uncomfortable . Right, like the highest thing on my to-do list is worry about your comfort level. Have I mentioned how painful non-dimmed/flourescent lights are to photophobic people? Thanks.

There are amazing books, amazing resources, and amazing people that say amazing things in a much more academically sound way. I would rather just say the world sucks when you're disabled, because everyone - including minorities of other categories - thinks things are all figured out for you. They assume what's accessible, what's dangerous, what's accomdating, what's disabled or not, and what's yours for the having.

Able-ism is a huge category with huge problems. But today a huge number of bloggers are speaking out about it. Add me to the list of disgruntled blind chicks. Add me to the list of disgruntled queer blind Jewish first-generation American working class white post-graduate entry-level yuppies who can't go into a group meeting or space "for all" without turning every head in the room (and not in that hot, kinky sort of a way). Add me to the list of people who laugh at the ADA, who cry when leaving job interviews because yet again some ignunt potential employer asks how she functions and how she could even do a job in the first place. Add me to the list of people who are tired of educating, tired of understanding, tired of trying to make things make sense. Add me to the list of cane uses who is tired of having to watch out for sighted people because they are too busy not paying attention adn thus trip and fall down go boom because big bad blind girl was taking up too much space.

Add this blog to the blogs that rarely get heard. It's time ya'lls start listening, stop making excuses, and start making change. It's only when we get heard and able-bodied people start owning their privilege and working to eradicate it that change will ever happen. Until then, this is another list - one of, as Dar Williams says, stories that are never heard.

Happy Blog Against Able-ism Day.